Crisis Averted

Bethany has her baking certificate from the Art Institute of Phoenix. With these qualifications, it was only a matter of time before she was asked to teach the sisters in Relief Society how to make cream puffs. She's made them plenty of times before and always uses the tried and tested recipe she learned at baking school. But on the fateful day of the Relief Society class, my mom got a tragic phone call. Bethany had made several batches and her cream puffs just weren't puffing. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so my mom and I took work off early and raced home to assess the situation. I half expected to find Bethany curled up in the fetal position on the floor, surrounded by flour and baking paraphernalia. She was holding on by a thread and had taken down the framed graduation picture in the living room that shows her accepting a diploma while wearing a chef's hat and jacket.

Indeed, her puffs were flatter than fritters.

With only a few hours to spare, we got down to business and googled another cream puff recipe. Mom raced to the store to buy more eggs & butter. Here I am with a fake smile on my face trying to look like Betty Crocker.

My cream puffs definitely did not look as professional as Bethy's.

Teamwork

Filling the puffs...

If you look in the lower left hand corner of this picture, you can see Bethany's graduation picture.

In the end, Bethy's Relief Society cream puff class went off without a hitch and her graduation picture is back on display in the living room.

Ta-Da!!

It's been too long...

Facebook is amazing!!! I just had the best night hanging out with two of my long lost friends from highschool. It was like we couldn't talk fast enough, there was so much to catch up on. I monopolized way too much of the conversation but I was so excited to see them again, I couldn't shut up. We've already got road trips to Phoenix and adventures in Vegas forming into plans and all because of Facebook. I just have to put in a plug for my friend ELIZABETH's amazing writing. Now I have another awesome blog to read.

All the single ladies!!!

Womanizer...

To see Noah drop it like it's hot, click here. The boy's got rhythm.

Who goes to Ohio on vacation in the dead of winter? We do.

And who drives 7 hours to to see Niagara Falls in a blizzard? That would be us.

Steve apparently did not get his fill of roach-infested hostels in Thailand & Taiwan so he booked us accommodations at the lovely YMCA in Buffalo, New York.

"Smells like something other than Oxygen."

We realized Steve was the only one who remembered to bring his passport, so the next day we went to the Niagara Falls library next door (how convenient) to print out our birth certificates (how extremely convenient I actually had my birth certificate saved on the thumb drive I just happened to have with me).

We crossed the border into Canada...

No trip would be complete without some of Joseph's bogus commentary...

We went underground behind the Falls....

and walked through a snow storm to check out the Hershey store.

Nobody would give in to my begging to switch to a hotel instead of the YMCA for the night so I filmed my own ransom video accusing Jessica, Joseph, & Steve of holding me captive.

It was still snowing a lot as we crossed back over the border and I made Steve run across the bridge yelling "Merry Christmas Bedford Falls!" With a little coaching, he still sounded nothing like Jimmy Stewart.

Anyone else would have been relentlessly ridiculed and chastised for exposing their feet to the elements...but not Jessica...she wore these shoes all day...in the freezing cold wind and snow...in Canada...in January...ouch

Denny's napkin ninja

I persuaded everyone to stop at Denny's for dinner with ulterior motives to get a room at the Days Inn next door. My persistence paid off and that night I slept in a soft warm bed that didn't require a ladder to get into.

The following day, we went to church in Kirtland and made the long drive back to Columbus. At this point, I had come down with one of the worst head colds I've ever had in my life and was so congested I could barely breathe.

On Monday, we waited for Joseph to get done with class and then we went out for Italian. They tell me the food was good...I couldn't taste anything.


Joseph took us on a tour of the beautiful Ohio State campus. Go Buckeyes!





If you don't want to hear anymore whining, you're gonna' want to stop reading here.

We were supposed to be getting on a plane in a few hours and the decongestant I took wasn't working. We got to the airport and found out our NW flight had been cancelled and the airline wouldn't put us up for the night. I was so sick, I decided to just get a room instead of waiting for hours at the airport with Steve & Jessica until a ride could be found to take us back to Joseph's. Way too early the next morning, I boarded a plane that sat for an hour at the terminal while they worked on electrical problems. We finally took off and my head felt like it was going to explode the entire flight. As we descended into Dallas, there was so much pressure, it felt like I had knives stabbing into both ears and I could hear high pitched squeaking noises coming out of them. The delay caused me to miss my connecting flight to Salt Lake and I had to wait at the Dallas airport for a few more hours until the next flight out. Hate to end this on a bad note so I'll just make up some stuff...I finally made it home to Salt Lake and was whisked away in my limo as dozens of paparazzi tried to snap photos of my famous face and red, congested nose. I can't believe you actually read this far and listened to my whining. You're a real trooper.

We played a rousing gift exchange game and I just have to say, my Ikea cheese graters were hot ticket items.

Happy New Year!

After all my blogs about Taiwan, I hate to make anyone read about the boring details of my life in Utah, but...Santa brought me a camera, so now you can at least look at pictures.

And...
JESSICA'S BACK IN AMERICA!!!! And even though we're not crashing scooters or figuring out how to read Chinese symbols as we wander around huge foreign cities, we're still tryin' to raise a ruckus!!

Throughout our stay in Taiwan, we went on a lot of crazy shopping spree adventures and longed for the day when we could just shop again in a good old American Target.

That day has come... Oh Target...how we love thee...




It's New Year's Eve and Jessica's got her Vogue pose on!


After getting all gussied up, we went down town to the JSM building to meet up with Steve and watch his Kristin do some Scottish dancing...the girl is amazing!







Then Steve had to steal the spotlight and do some dancing of his own with his cute mom.

Later, Jess & I walked around Temple Square.

Then we went to the Gallivan Center for First Night. (Shouldn't it be called Last Night since it's the last night of the year?) There was ice skating, musicians, a hypnotist, long lines for hot chocolate, huge crowds, and dropping temperatures.

There were art installations made from recyclable materials like this globe made out of plastic water bottles.

We almost froze to death but we made it to the fireworks show at midnight.



New Year's Day Jess helped me move my 3 suitcases and air mattress to a new place. Someday I'll get to move my stuff up here from Arizona so I don't have to keep living like a hobo.

We were looking around my new place when what to our wondering eyes should appear but A Train to Potevka (a book we read in Taiwan on recommendation from Joseph).

Then we went shopping at IKEA and tried out the furniture.

After a long day of shopping, we came home, Jessica made some awesome Sesame Chicken and peanut sauce, then we read this guy's hilarious blog...I love it.

More american adventures to come as we get ready for a trip to Ohio in the dead of winter...

I don't know who this guy is, but I ran across his blog and was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face.

Can I possibly look any more ridiculous? The answer is yes, because there were dozens of pictures taken that are just as bad if not worse than this one, but I won't subject you to them. Since all of my friends in Taiwan appear to have been supermodels in another life, it's kinda' scary when you see this train-wreck standing next to their spectacularlousness. Apparently, I'm hoping in this picture that by wearing a princess tiara, you won't notice my ginormous forehead bandage. Is it working?


Anyway, I'm finally gonna' attempt to finish blogging about our trip. The day after the accident on Green Island, we boarded the Vomit Barge and headed back to Taiwan. I got a lot of stares from locals who were probably thinking, "There goes another crazy tourist who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a scooter." As our boat pulled away from the dock, we realized Lorin, Tammy, and Whitney hadn't made it on board and we wondered if we would ever see them again as Green Island faded into the distance.




I managed to stay vomit free this time around by keeping a steady eye on the horizon- which isn't easy when you're holding onto the railing for dear life (with only one arm because your other arm is in a cast) as the waves toss the boat back and forth and people are slamming into each other all around you.

When we reached the shore, we made arrangements at the bus station to give a message to our lost friends telling them where to meet up with us in Kenting. Here's Jessica and Mary on one of our many stops as we wait for transportation to our next destination.




This is the inside of the old train we took on our way to Kenting. Colby seems awestruck by the fans that are somehow supposed to keep us cool since there was no air conditioning.













After a long, hot train ride, Lorin, Tammy, and Whitney miraculously caught up with us and we all boarded a bus to Kenting together. Hours later, we checked into our hostel and had dinner at this great pizza place.


That night, we found a new roommate hanging out in our room. I think I named him Kirby- but that could have been another roach...we met several throughout our trip...it's hard to keep them all straight.


Jessica resumed her nightly ritual of redressing her mangled leg wounds.




And I continued my ritual of wrapping a plastic bag around my cast every time I took a shower or every time it rained.












And it rained a lot. The next day we rented scooters and did some hiking and sight-seeing. Because of our injuries, Jessica and I opted out of going to the beach with everyone else but I'm hoping that maybe someday I'll get to go back and see Kenting's beautiful beaches.




Here's a picture of our room at the hostel.
Eleven people for three days...in a room smaller than than your average hotel room...priceless.

On Sunday, we all got ready for church and rode our scooters to a branch just north of Kenting.



Did I mention my friends all look like supermodels? Hello!
Beautiful girls.





After church, our Taiwanese friend, Nick took us sight-seeing in the area.




Then he took us to meet his friend Tommy who let us hang out at this little resort.



Apparently, some people think it's funny to dump a dirty towel on a poor, defenseless cripple and take a picture. Now who in their right mind would do such a thing?





Nice.






As usual, total strangers came up to Steve and Joseph asking in broken English if they could get pictures taken with them.
Poor guys- it must be rough. How come nobody wants a picture of a weirdo with a band aid on her forehead?





Tommy took us around to some beautiful spots in Kenting.







Tommy and Nick.



At the end of our stay in Kenting, Emily, Colby, Mary, & I headed back to Feng Yuan while everyone else went to Alishan for a few days. I went to the hospital to have a doctor cut a slit in my cast so that my fingers didn't explode.



Mango Ice. Love it. Crave it.



The next day, the four of us headed to Taipei. This is our room at the Happy Family Hostel. That afternoon, we were all exhausted and decided to take a nap. Apparently, we left the door unlocked and while we were sleeping, some guy came in our room and was getting something out of the closet. Colby woke up, assessed the situation, made an executive decision not to care, and went back to sleep. I don't know why but we thought it was hysterical when he told us about it later- Had to be there, I guess.




While in Taipei, we went to the top of the tallest building in the world- Taipei 101. This is the damper baby.






We went shopping at a huge night market and bought (among other things) these cool spiral potato chips on a stick made from one potato.











We also took a tour of the famous Chinese National Palace Museum.



Hopefully, one of these days, I'll get around to posting the pictures of the next leg of our trip in Thailand.