I don't know who this guy is, but I ran across his blog and was laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face.

Can I possibly look any more ridiculous? The answer is yes, because there were dozens of pictures taken that are just as bad if not worse than this one, but I won't subject you to them. Since all of my friends in Taiwan appear to have been supermodels in another life, it's kinda' scary when you see this train-wreck standing next to their spectacularlousness. Apparently, I'm hoping in this picture that by wearing a princess tiara, you won't notice my ginormous forehead bandage. Is it working?


Anyway, I'm finally gonna' attempt to finish blogging about our trip. The day after the accident on Green Island, we boarded the Vomit Barge and headed back to Taiwan. I got a lot of stares from locals who were probably thinking, "There goes another crazy tourist who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a scooter." As our boat pulled away from the dock, we realized Lorin, Tammy, and Whitney hadn't made it on board and we wondered if we would ever see them again as Green Island faded into the distance.




I managed to stay vomit free this time around by keeping a steady eye on the horizon- which isn't easy when you're holding onto the railing for dear life (with only one arm because your other arm is in a cast) as the waves toss the boat back and forth and people are slamming into each other all around you.

When we reached the shore, we made arrangements at the bus station to give a message to our lost friends telling them where to meet up with us in Kenting. Here's Jessica and Mary on one of our many stops as we wait for transportation to our next destination.




This is the inside of the old train we took on our way to Kenting. Colby seems awestruck by the fans that are somehow supposed to keep us cool since there was no air conditioning.













After a long, hot train ride, Lorin, Tammy, and Whitney miraculously caught up with us and we all boarded a bus to Kenting together. Hours later, we checked into our hostel and had dinner at this great pizza place.


That night, we found a new roommate hanging out in our room. I think I named him Kirby- but that could have been another roach...we met several throughout our trip...it's hard to keep them all straight.


Jessica resumed her nightly ritual of redressing her mangled leg wounds.




And I continued my ritual of wrapping a plastic bag around my cast every time I took a shower or every time it rained.












And it rained a lot. The next day we rented scooters and did some hiking and sight-seeing. Because of our injuries, Jessica and I opted out of going to the beach with everyone else but I'm hoping that maybe someday I'll get to go back and see Kenting's beautiful beaches.




Here's a picture of our room at the hostel.
Eleven people for three days...in a room smaller than than your average hotel room...priceless.

On Sunday, we all got ready for church and rode our scooters to a branch just north of Kenting.



Did I mention my friends all look like supermodels? Hello!
Beautiful girls.





After church, our Taiwanese friend, Nick took us sight-seeing in the area.




Then he took us to meet his friend Tommy who let us hang out at this little resort.



Apparently, some people think it's funny to dump a dirty towel on a poor, defenseless cripple and take a picture. Now who in their right mind would do such a thing?





Nice.






As usual, total strangers came up to Steve and Joseph asking in broken English if they could get pictures taken with them.
Poor guys- it must be rough. How come nobody wants a picture of a weirdo with a band aid on her forehead?





Tommy took us around to some beautiful spots in Kenting.







Tommy and Nick.



At the end of our stay in Kenting, Emily, Colby, Mary, & I headed back to Feng Yuan while everyone else went to Alishan for a few days. I went to the hospital to have a doctor cut a slit in my cast so that my fingers didn't explode.



Mango Ice. Love it. Crave it.



The next day, the four of us headed to Taipei. This is our room at the Happy Family Hostel. That afternoon, we were all exhausted and decided to take a nap. Apparently, we left the door unlocked and while we were sleeping, some guy came in our room and was getting something out of the closet. Colby woke up, assessed the situation, made an executive decision not to care, and went back to sleep. I don't know why but we thought it was hysterical when he told us about it later- Had to be there, I guess.




While in Taipei, we went to the top of the tallest building in the world- Taipei 101. This is the damper baby.






We went shopping at a huge night market and bought (among other things) these cool spiral potato chips on a stick made from one potato.











We also took a tour of the famous Chinese National Palace Museum.



Hopefully, one of these days, I'll get around to posting the pictures of the next leg of our trip in Thailand.

Green Island

Okay- I guess it's finally time to bite the bullet and write my last blog about Taiwan. I would love to keep blogging after this but since my life has become drastically dull here in America, there's not much to blog about except for tedious job hunting.

ANYWAY, here it is...the final days of my fabulous, fun-filled adventures in Asia!

June 23rd: We're finally all packed up and ready to leave. I stocked up on motion sickness medication because I knew the ferry to Green Island was going to be rough. Jessica and I had a little too much fun making commercials for the little box of pills I bought. Bomit...don't vomit!

It took me several tries to get through the commercial...on the last take you can see the mascara streaks running down my face from laughing so hard. Yeah, I'm a dork...

We started our trip with dinner at the toilet restaurant. They serve your food in little toilets, bathtubs, and sinks...lovely.

Then we went shopping... you know how sometimes you get on an elevator and forget to hit a floor...






We had booked our trip with this high-strung South African guy named Eddie who took us to the bus stop and lectured us on sunscreen and driving safely on our scooters- "I don't want to get a call from the clinic- there's only one doctor on the island and he's always drunk." Remember Eddie's advice...it'll come up later in this blog.

It was kind of a rough night...the all-night bus had no air-conditioning, but we finally reached our destination the next morning. Most of us took a motion-sickness pill and we boarded the ferry. Not long after the ferry pulled out, I could hear people all around me retching. The boat was equipped with plenty of plastic barf bags and I soon joined my co-passengers in emptying the contents of my stomach. The Bomit medication definitely did not work. I got up and a steward wearing rubber gloves was ready and waiting to take my bag from me. He gave me two more empty bags and I headed outside for some fresh air where Tammy and Lauren were looking green and leaning over the railing. Joseph was gloating on how unaffected he was by the non-stop rocking motion of the waves. I got my revenge on him when I tossed my cookies over the railing and missed. Joseph accidentally put his hand on the railing and got a lovely surprise. Oops. Too much information? Here's the evidence on my shirt...disgusting...

If you ever get a chance to read the Lonely Planet Travel Guide for Taiwan, look up what it says about the "Vomit Barge". I'm lucky I survived.

We arrived at the island, rented scooters, and spent the day on the beach. That night, we ate dinner at a Taiwanese Barbecue...

We sang karoake and got a standing ovation from the Taiwanese tourists there.

We came home and found this gianormous spider in our bathroom...

Then, we gave Joseph some dreads...

He had some bad hair and a headache the next morning.

Green Island was amazing!!! We rode our scooters around the small island, swam and played on the beach, snorkeled, sat under the stars in the natural hot springs, and laughed our guts out in the hotel every night.

Then, tragedy struck! On our third day in paradise...while riding our scooters along the beautiful coastal road, I wrecked my scooter into a wall. These are the sunglasses I was wearing when my head hit the pavement.

I got eight stitches above my right eye and broke my left wrist.

It turns out that the only doctor on the island isn't always drunk- Here he is putting a cast on my broken arm.

Poor Jessica was on the back of the scooter and the pavement tore up her leg and foot. I'll forever be sorry for putting her through all that...she's one tough cookie.




With only one functioning arm...I was pretty useless, but I had a ton of help from all my personal assistants. I couldn't reach my head to do my hair and make up so from here on out... all the pictures of me are scary... Humidity is not my friend. I felt like Monica on that episode of Friends when her hair frizzes out into an enormous afro. Sad.

Try this at home... bend perpendicular to the wall, lift the chair, and try to stand up. Guys' center of gravity isn't in their hips so they can't stand up, but girls can...

That's it for now...There's lots more, so stay tuned for the second half of our trip to Thailand...elephants, kayaking, wild monkeys, hill tribe villages, and snorkeling...all with a broken arm!