Friday, May 8, 2009

Should a grown man wear Crocs?...Even if he is a nurse?


So every Friday is jeans day at the office. Last week I walked past a co-worker's cubicle and noticed he was wearing bright lime green Crocs that perfectly matched his bright lime green shirt. Wow. When you see something like that...you think...well that's kinda'...I can't think of an appropriate word to put here...and you also feel bad because he has no one to direct his poor, misguided fashion choices. But it also prompted me to wonder...Which came first? Did he already own the lime green shirt and then bought lime green Crocs to match? Or was there a sale on Crocs and did he decide to find shirts that matched his new plastic shoes? Or is there a store that preys on poor unsuspecting souls by selling Crocs and matching shirts together? So many questions!!! Lastly, and most importantly, does he have more pairs of Crocs at home in a variety of colors with matching shirts?


Well, guess what? Today I got my answer!!! Purple shirt and purple Crocs!!!! WOW! What color will we see on the next Jeans Friday? Red? Blue? YELLOW?!!! I can hardly wait. Something to look forward to...

Okay...I just overheard a snippet of conversation that might shed some light on this. The co-worker in question just said, "I'm what they call a 'commando shopper'. I like to get in and get out before anyone knows I'm there." That's the problem!!! He didn't think about the consequences of his purchase and probably fell victim to some money grubbing retailer who put the Crocs and shirts together for all those "commando shoppers" who make rash decisions about clothing in order to get the shopping over with. "Do I want plastic shoes and a matching shirt in lime green or Barney purple? Why not both?!" Insanity. It's cruel really. If you are a 'commando shopper" and have suffered from similar fashion blunders, please know that I'm not totally making fun of you...I'm also concerned for your welfare...as I hope others are concerned for me and my daily, hideous fashion mistakes.

Another quote I overheard a co-worker say today:
"I can guarantee you that you're probably right." Well gee's- if you can guarantee that I'm probably right...
****5/11/09 Update****
Today it's a red shirt and orange Crocs!!! So he's mixing things up a little. And it's not even Jeans day!!! Wow...things are getting a little crazy around here.
****5/13/09 Update****
Today it's black Crocs with a red strap...
****5/14/09 Update****
Holy Crap!!! Today it's bright sunshine yellow Crocs!!! I'm a little disappointed that he's not wearing a yellow shirt to match but wow...those yellow plastic shoes sure stand out! My suspicions have been confirmed: He actually owns just about every color of the rainbow in those plastic orthopedic shoes that should only be worn by...wait should they really be worn by anyone?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I'm an auntie!

Julia Hawker born 4/7/09
7 lbs. 3 oz.



I like her alot!




Thursday, March 19, 2009

I love Sharpies!


Okay so two weeks ago my friends Elizabeth & Angie drove all the way down to Phoenix with me to get my stuff that's been sitting in a storage unit since leaving for Taiwan over a year ago. Even though it's been years since I've hung out with my two best friends from high school and college...we were able to revert back to 17-year-old behavior and have way too much fun.

And now I have a bed to sleep in, towels, sheets, blankets, shoes, and a lot of other junk I've been living without.






How cool are they for helping me load up all my crap in the Arizona heat?

We fit it all in!


The weather was gorgeous, by the way, and I'm still kicking myself for leaving Arizona to live in cold and dismal Utah. I'll be back Arizona...some day.

After all our hard work, we lounged by the pool at the hotel and met friends for dinner at Benihana's that night.
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Brody, Me, Linda & Sloan















Tanya & Noah

























After dinner, we went with Brody to hang out at Aunt Chilada's where he MC's for open mike night, in addition to teaching guests the fine art of drawing facial hair on your hands.

Seriously, if you don't have one already, do yourself a favor and buy a Sharpie Marker...you won't regret it!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Crisis Averted

Bethany has her baking certificate from the Art Institute of Phoenix. With these qualifications, it was only a matter of time before she was asked to teach the sisters in Relief Society how to make cream puffs. She's made them plenty of times before and always uses the tried and tested recipe she learned at baking school. But on the fateful day of the Relief Society class, my mom got a tragic phone call. Bethany had made several batches and her cream puffs just weren't puffing. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so my mom and I took work off early and raced home to assess the situation. I half expected to find Bethany curled up in the fetal position on the floor, surrounded by flour and baking paraphernalia. She was holding on by a thread and had taken down the framed graduation picture in the living room that shows her accepting a diploma while wearing a chef's hat and jacket.


Indeed, her puffs were flatter than fritters.

With only a few hours to spare, we got down to business and googled another cream puff recipe. Mom raced to the store to buy more eggs & butter. Here I am with a fake smile on my face trying to look like Betty Crocker.
My cream puffs definitely did not look as professional as Bethy's.

Teamwork

Filling the puffs...

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If you look in the lower left hand corner of this picture, you can see Bethany's graduation picture.

In the end, Bethy's Relief Society cream puff class went off without a hitch and her graduation picture is back on display in the living room.

Ta-Da!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

It's been too long...

Facebook is amazing!!! I just had the best night hanging out with two of my long lost friends from highschool. It was like we couldn't talk fast enough, there was so much to catch up on. I monopolized way too much of the conversation but I was so excited to see them again, I couldn't shut up. We've already got road trips to Phoenix and adventures in Vegas forming into plans and all because of Facebook. I just have to put in a plug for my friend ELIZABETH's amazing writing. Now I have another awesome blog to read.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

All the single ladies!!!

Womanizer...
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To see Noah drop it like it's hot, click here. The boy's got rhythm.


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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Who goes to Ohio on vacation in the dead of winter? We do.

And who drives 7 hours to to see Niagara Falls in a blizzard? That would be us.





Steve apparently did not get his fill of roach-infested hostels in Thailand & Taiwan so he booked us accommodations at the lovely YMCA in Buffalo, New York.

"Smells like something other than Oxygen."
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We realized Steve was the only one who remembered to bring his passport, so the next day we went to the Niagara Falls library next door (how convenient) to print out our birth certificates (how extremely convenient I actually had my birth certificate saved on the thumb drive I just happened to have with me).



We crossed the border into Canada...


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No trip would be complete without some of Joseph's bogus commentary...
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We went underground behind the Falls....

and walked through a snow storm to check out the Hershey store.

Nobody would give in to my begging to switch to a hotel instead of the YMCA for the night so I filmed my own ransom video accusing Jessica, Joseph, & Steve of holding me captive.

It was still snowing a lot as we crossed back over the border and I made Steve run across the bridge yelling "Merry Christmas Bedford Falls!" With a little coaching, he still sounded nothing like Jimmy Stewart.


Anyone else would have been relentlessly ridiculed and chastised for exposing their feet to the elements...but not Jessica...she wore these shoes all day...in the freezing cold wind and snow...in Canada...in January...ouch


Denny's napkin ninja

I persuaded everyone to stop at Denny's for dinner with ulterior motives to get a room at the Days Inn next door. My persistence paid off and that night I slept in a soft warm bed that didn't require a ladder to get into.
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The following day, we went to church in Kirtland and made the long drive back to Columbus. At this point, I had come down with one of the worst head colds I've ever had in my life and was so congested I could barely breathe.

On Monday, we waited for Joseph to get done with class and then we went out for Italian. They tell me the food was good...I couldn't taste anything.


Joseph took us on a tour of the beautiful Ohio State campus. Go Buckeyes!





If you don't want to hear anymore whining, you're gonna' want to stop reading here.

We were supposed to be getting on a plane in a few hours and the decongestant I took wasn't working. We got to the airport and found out our NW flight had been cancelled and the airline wouldn't put us up for the night. I was so sick, I decided to just get a room instead of waiting for hours at the airport with Steve & Jessica until a ride could be found to take us back to Joseph's. Way too early the next morning, I boarded a plane that sat for an hour at the terminal while they worked on electrical problems. We finally took off and my head felt like it was going to explode the entire flight. As we descended into Dallas, there was so much pressure, it felt like I had knives stabbing into both ears and I could hear high pitched squeaking noises coming out of them. The delay caused me to miss my connecting flight to Salt Lake and I had to wait at the Dallas airport for a few more hours until the next flight out. Hate to end this on a bad note so I'll just make up some stuff...I finally made it home to Salt Lake and was whisked away in my limo as dozens of paparazzi tried to snap photos of my famous face and red, congested nose. I can't believe you actually read this far and listened to my whining. You're a real trooper.

Saturday, January 17, 2009




We played a rousing gift exchange game and I just have to say, my Ikea cheese graters were hot ticket items.

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Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy New Year!

After all my blogs about Taiwan, I hate to make anyone read about the boring details of my life in Utah, but...Santa brought me a camera, so now you can at least look at pictures.

And...
JESSICA'S BACK IN AMERICA!!!! And even though we're not crashing scooters or figuring out how to read Chinese symbols as we wander around huge foreign cities, we're still tryin' to raise a ruckus!!

Throughout our stay in Taiwan, we went on a lot of crazy shopping spree adventures and longed for the day when we could just shop again in a good old American Target.

That day has come... Oh Target...how we love thee...




It's New Year's Eve and Jessica's got her Vogue pose on!


After getting all gussied up, we went down town to the JSM building to meet up with Steve and watch his Kristin do some Scottish dancing...the girl is amazing!
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Then Steve had to steal the spotlight and do some dancing of his own with his cute mom.

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Later, Jess & I walked around Temple Square.



Then we went to the Gallivan Center for First Night. (Shouldn't it be called Last Night since it's the last night of the year?) There was ice skating, musicians, a hypnotist, long lines for hot chocolate, huge crowds, and dropping temperatures.
There were art installations made from recyclable materials like this globe made out of plastic water bottles.


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We almost froze to death but we made it to the fireworks show at midnight.



New Year's Day Jess helped me move my 3 suitcases and air mattress to a new place. Someday I'll get to move my stuff up here from Arizona so I don't have to keep living like a hobo.
We were looking around my new place when what to our wondering eyes should appear but A Train to Potevka (a book we read in Taiwan on recommendation from Joseph).


Then we went shopping at IKEA and tried out the furniture.
After a long day of shopping, we came home, Jessica made some awesome Sesame Chicken and peanut sauce, then we read this guy's hilarious blog...I love it.
More american adventures to come as we get ready for a trip to Ohio in the dead of winter...